Having a baby is one of the most magical, fulfilling and life-changing moments one could experience. Many couples would agree. It turns your life upside down in all ways you could imagine…and in ways you could not. It’s a wonderful journey. But it’s not a breeze, not a fairy tale, this is a real-life event with a mix of emotions, with its ups and downs…A moment abundant in smiles, endless love and appreciation, and a moment full of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, exhaustion and emotional breakdowns. Research shows this is the toughest milestone in a relationship for most couples. Though baby product commercials will try to convince you otherwise, being a new parent is tough. But nevermind beautiful.
And if you and your partner both try to be mindful of each other’s feelings and situation, you will manage to keep the fire burning even through this love-testing first year after your baby is born.
- You are both in the game. Recognize that this is hard for both of you.
- Set aside time to work through difficulties.
- When you do talk, talk effectively. Avoid direct criticism and be specific about what you need from your partner.
- Find time to connect. Verbalize what you each miss from your pre-baby days – psychologists say this will help you preserve intimacy, though transformed.
- “Parent” each other. “Take the compassionate approach you have for your children and offer that to your partner”.
More on how to keep your relationship strong after having a baby, read this insightful article.
Numerous studies show that new parents are the most uniformly dissatisfied group when it comes to marital happiness. But anyone who’s had their party of two crashed by a magical (but exceptionally demanding) third wheel doesn’t need to read the research. We’re living it.