Positive parenting is all about building a strong connection with your child. It sharply contrasts discipline with punishment, threats, timeouts and other methods that make the bond between parent and child rotten from the inside, often leading to conflicts and communication blackouts in teenage years and later in life. These methods all imply parent love is conditional. They lead the children to think and feel they are loved only when they are good. This can affect the way they perceive themselves and how they build relationships with others, erodes their trust in you, parents. Discipline can be something positive and it’s called positive parenting. Love and mutual respect can create the solid foundation of a deep relationship. One that makes “kids freely give up what they want to do and do what we want instead” and grow confident, kind and respectful themselves. How to achieve this?
Here are a few steps to follow described in details in the article below by Tracy Gillett, a nature-loving, adventure-seeking natural mum, and blogger.
- Be authentic. Always try to be yourself with your kids, don’t act behind the mask of perfection.
- Apologize. It sets a powerful example. It teaches your child that mistakes happen, but “we can admit to it, apologize, model respectful behavior and move on.”
- Make “yes” your default. Learn to not automatically say no.
- Schedule special time. It could be just 15 minutes a day but set it aside for your child or each of your children. The time when you both decide what to do together. Time to connect with undivided attention.
- Hugs, hugs and more hugs…“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir
- Keep your eye on your long-term goals. What virtues do you want to teach your child? What kind of person do you want him or her to become? Do you want your child to be happy? Independent? Healthy? Confident? Kind? Loving? Let your kids behave like kids. Let them develop their full potential and grow.
We all crave healthy relationships with our children. Relationships overflowing with honesty, trust, and unconditional love. But many traditional discipline techniques undermine those aspirations, forging a shaky framework rather than building a solid foundation for our most valued, life-long bonds.